Cheap in more ways than one

So on Saturday, Kate and I ventured into the book mecca known as Half-Priced Books. Our goal - sleezy, cheap books. An hour later, we walked out of there having been chastized by an old man about falling books and some history books and my one cheesy, sleezy book that I thought was called Manhound. (On later inspection...the name disappointingly turned out to be Mahound)

So I began to read "Manhound", a novel about a 'penniless nobleman drawn into the lucrative, violent, lustfeeding, exotic life of the African slave trade.' (Must note that this book only cost $1.98) I would like to devote some space to quoting this fine fine literary work for everyone's enjoyment.

So in this section Rory (our main character - the penniless nobleman) has met a befriended the Shango of Sa'aqs, more familiarly known as Baba. Baba is explaining that Rory must hide his naked body from view when bathing b/c his religion will be obvious since he like other Christians would not be circumcized while Arabs are.

"But the knife has never touched me, Baba, fate must have intended me to be a True Believer. Look!" Rory peeled off his sweaty trousers and stood naked before Baba. "Regard me, Baba, and see how well I can qualify. When I was a young boy I started to out grow my own skin. Nature removed the hood, for there was not enough skin left to cover me."......"But the lasses all seemed to like it even better than had it been fully clothed"....He walked a couple of steps nearer to Baba and arched his body. "Look, my friend and brother."
Can you tell this book was writen by a guy and not a woman?
(Dear friends I am reading this while at the gym and I'm dying trying not to laugh outloud and look like a total idiot!)

In this section - Baba has given Rory a slave woman to sleep with and as he awakes, she has already left for the day. (by the way I think these guys shared the tent during the night, leading one to believe that both got an eyeful of each other's actions - they might have enjoyed it...considering they were all too happy to compare each other's peepees!)

"She departed with your bedmate. Ah if she were only here now." His hands sought the hardness of himself under the sheet.....(Baba speaking) "I sent them away for a very good reason. A woman is too enervating in the morning and can only make a man feel drained all day. The erection that a man awakes with is not one of passion; merely an indication that his bladder is full. (Is this true?) Two things are needed to put an end to a stiff yard (yes it really says that!). At night a man ejaculates his semen and he goes limp; in the morning he pisses and it brings about the same result."



Hmm...when taken out of context this doesn't sound so funny...but believe me it is! I'm sure you can look forward to more amusing quotes from the cheapest, cheesiest book I think I've ever read!