A cold panic...

I had to go to this spaghetti supper for the little girl I babysit. Her mom had a meeting to attend and the little girl's girl scout troop was producing this affair. I got in there and all it was was a sea of children and parents. I got a glimpse of my future and I was terrified. All I kept thinking about was "is this all I have to look forward to?" I can't explain it but I found myself in a dead panic. I couldn't breathe and all I wanted to do was run. It just looked so horrifying...so monotonous....so incredibly boring. Do I have to look like those moms? Do I have talk about the same things? Do I have to sit there and only discuss my children and their achievements? If that is all my life is going to be, please bash my head against a wall. I cannot..let me repeat, CANNOT have my life turn out like those people in that room!!!!!! I know I know...I'll change my tune when I'm ready but right now that type of life seems so foreign and miserable to me that I can't understand ever wanting it.....suburbia - my hell!